


worth it

by steviewrites



Series: jatchen [2]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Happy Ending, Kissing, Light Angst, Teasing, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23122483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steviewrites/pseuds/steviewrites
Summary: janis surprises gretchen with a day out to make her feel special.
Relationships: Janis Sarkisian/Gretchen Wieners
Series: jatchen [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1539154
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	worth it

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys! i have sort of returned. just gonna take it slow and only write/post when i feel like it, meaning i don’t have a set schedule anymore and posting will be at random. hope 2020 is treating y’all well and everyone is staying safe from the coronavirus. i know things are scary right now so i hope this provides a little distraction. ♡
> 
> also, since i occasionally get asked who i picture when i write, i figured i’d start specifying! this doesn’t mean you have to see the same in your head, but i’ll mention it if it helps you choose from the wonderful array of actors and further enjoy my stories. :)
>
>> **barrett!janis** and **krystina!gretchen**
>
>> **content warnings:**   
>  emotional abuse mention

Gretchen is in the middle of an absolutely enthralling episode of _Love is Blind_ when her phone chimes with Janis’s ringtone. She simultaneously grabs it and puts more popcorn in her mouth, waiting til the suspense is over to glance at her notifs.

_hey babe,_ Janis wrote with a kissy face. _i’ll be pulling up in like 15 minutes. get dressed for the day bc i know you’re still in your pj’s…_

Gretchen pauses the show and guiltily glances down at her lavender satin pajamas.

_but yeah see you soon and just go with it :)_ Janis concluded, and the typed smiley face makes Gretchen more suspicious than the entire message itself.

Knowing asking questions would be fruitless, Gretchen simply sends a quick reply and a thumbs up. Janis answers with a heart.

Seeing her girlfriend suddenly being far more important than some reality dating show, Gretchen shuts her laptop and scurries to her closet, intent on finding the cutest outfit. Lacking the details, initially she isn’t sure what to pick, then ultimately decides on a summery romper that shows off her tan legs (any excuse she has to casually drape her bare legs over Janis’s lap is a good one).

At her vanity, she fusses with her hair, torn between pulling it back in a curly pony or letting it hang loose and free. She decides to keep it down, and slips a scrunchie onto her wrist as an accessory and in case she changes her mind.

She’s allowed to do that, she reminds herself, as she steps into a new pair of sandals that are the same cream color as the flowers on her romper. She’s allowed to not be sure.

With only a couple minutes to spare, Gretchen doesn’t have time to do a full face of makeup—but that’s okay, too. _Deep breaths, Gretch,_ Janis’s voice murmurs in her head. She doesn’t need to look immaculate every single second. None of that matters anymore.

So she applies a quick coat of mascara and just Chapstick, the berry flavor Janis likes, then grabs her phone and a small purse before darting out her bedroom door. Janis’s truck is rumbling up by the time she finds her keys in the kitchen, and her heart is fluttering the same way it did the night of their first date six months ago.

She hopes that feeling never goes away. It’s one of her favorites in the entire world.

“Don’t you look cute as hell,” Janis drawls when Gretchen steps out onto her porch. Gretchen blushes, positive Janis can somehow see, and locks the door behind her prior to scampering down the steps to the rusty red truck idling in her driveway.

“Just for you,” Gretchen teases as she climbs into the worn-leather cab, instantly grabbing her girlfriend’s cheeky face for a kiss.

“Hi,” Janis says, softer now, and Gretchen bumps their noses.

“Hello,” she chirps, buckling her seatbelt. “Can you tell me what’s going on now?”

“Nope,” Janis replies flippantly, and Gretchen rolls her eyes, though she expected nothing less. Janis backs out of the driveway, her truck a rather rude contrast to the spotless sports cars among the rest. Neither of them care, though—Gretchen definitely doesn’t give a shit what her neighbors think of her amazing girlfriend’s amazing old truck. They don’t need approval from anyone.

Once Janis makes it out of the gated community, she drives one-handed, grasping Gretchen’s in the other, long fingers gently but firmly holding Gretchen’s.

“Are we going to a movie?” Gretchen pipes up as Janis drives toward the highway exit.

“No,” Janis answers calmly.

“Hm.” Gretchen thinks on it, drumming her nails against her phone rather than calming herself by looking through it. “Oh! Are we going to one of those _outdoor_ movies?”

Janis snorts. “We already did that.”

“Yeah, but it was so fun,” Gretchen muses. They went to a drive-in on their second date and it was, for lack of a better word, magical.

She bombards a lightheartedly stoic Janis with inquiries for a bit, admiring how she never breaks or lets anything slip. She’s so good at surprises. Gretchen couldn’t do it, they’re too exciting.

Her stomach is doing loop-de-loops, but in a good way. It’s not anxiety, but anticipation—joy, elation to just be with Janis. It doesn’t matter what they’re about to do. Before Janis, she’d be sweating bullets over fear of the unknown. But there’s no fear here, in Janis’s truck, their hands entwined on the seat, Janis’s thumb absently stroking Gretchen’s.

Not knowing is okay. It’s good, even. Nobody has all the answers, and maybe they’re not meant to. Part of fun and going on adventures is doing what you don’t expect.

Gretchen is intrigued when the tall buildings of downtown loom into view. She texts her mom to let her know she’s out with Janis, and puts her phone in her purse, not so reliant on it anymore.

Janis navigates through the city til she finds a parking garage. “Ya hungry, babe?” she asks as she pulls into a spot far away from everybody else.

Unsure if that’s a trick question or not, Gretchen gives her side-eye, until she makes a face and snorts out her nose. “For real food,” Janis clarifies, and Gretchen relaxes.

“Oh. Yeah,” Gretchen replies, brain crackling from what she thought were implications.

Laughing to herself, Janis hops out and comes around to open Gretchen’s door for her, smiling even wider at Gretchen’s deepened blush.

“My lady,” Janis hums, chivalrously offering her arm to help Gretchen out.

They walk in silence—amused on Janis’s part, mortified on Gretchen’s—hands clasped again, to the nearest elevator. The moment they’re inside, luckily with no one else around, Janis’s hands fly to Gretchen’s face and brings their mouths together with that starving hunger she only ever seems to have for Gretchen.

But of course it’s just for Gretchen—there’s no one else’s lips she craves like this. It feels nice, Gretchen thinks vaguely as Janis’s tongue traces her bottom lip, to be the only one someone wants.

Not for selfish reasons, either. Janis wants her because she’s worth wanting for _her_ and not for what she can give in return. Regina took and took til there was barely any Gretchen left, bossing her around and warping her mind to think all they did was okay. Gretchen always knew deep down it wasn’t, hoped one day to be free—and now she is, able to be her true self. And perhaps it’s ironic, but she couldn’t have done it without Janis. That becomes clearer every day.

Janis pulls away when the elevator stalls beneath their feet, and leads a dazed Gretchen outside with their fingers laced.

Once Gretchen’s soul returns to her body, she takes note of how beautiful it is today, the sky crisp and blue. A breeze snakes around their legs as they walk, and the cool air helps Gretchen’s pulse and lungs decompress from that momentary high.

“You want Panera, babe?” Janis inquires, pointing to the restaurant coming up on the corner. Gretchen nods, instantly craving their tomato soup and a raisin cookie.

While Gretchen has taken leaps and strides to control her anxiety and learn to live with it, she has yet to master the ability of ordering food without fear. Janis does it for her, asking for their meals confidently and able to pull out her debit card without accidentally dropping it. Regina used to make Gretchen do the talking since Karen would forget and she was just too lazy. Gretchen’s chest flares up at the rather embarrassing and intrusive memories, and leans her head on Janis’s shoulder for comfort.

“You okay?” Janis murmurs as they find a booth to sit in.

Gretchen shrugs, trying to push Regina out of her mind. She won’t give her the power to ruin what is going to be a nice time with her girlfriend. When they started dating she vowed not to let literally anything get in the way of her feelings for Janis, or the time they spent together. Regina is no longer an influential part of either of their lives. Gretchen in particular is safe now.

Sensing Gretchen doesn’t want to talk about it, Janis offers both her hands, and Gretchen takes them with a little sigh.

The thing about Janis is that Gretchen can be both loud or quiet with her and both feel right. Gretchen can vent and ramble all she wants and Janis won’t tell her to shut up; they can sit with their hands together like right now and the silence isn’t suffocating or awkward.

That’s what love is, Gretchen thinks. Being able to just exist in any capacity with another person and it’s enough for both of you.

Janis kisses her forehead before she goes to grab their food, and Gretchen feels better when she comes back. Gretchen claps as she is served her soup, and Janis amusedly watches her attempt to eat while avoiding scalding her tongue. Gretchen pointedly focuses on that instead of how strangely attractive Janis looks while slowly chewing her sandwich.

“Oh, remind me to Venmo you later,” Gretchen says, unwrapping her cookie despite her soup still not being finished.

Janis’s brow furrows. “For what?”

“However much my food cost,” Gretchen tells her, instinctually assuming she should.

“No,” Janis argues bluntly, though she doesn’t sound angry. “My treat.”

“Janis, no,” Gretchen mumbles around a bite of her cookie.

“Gretch, yes,” Janis retaliates, lightly bumping her boot to Gretchen’s ankle. “It doesn’t cost that much, my dad gave me money for us to go out. Not a big deal.”

That makes Gretchen feel worse. “It is to me.”

“Babe, it’s fine,” Janis insists, starting to look concerned. “I can afford it. Don’t worry. You don’t have to pay for everything all the time.”

“But those paint things you want,” Gretchen pouts. “They’re so expensive. You said you were saving up.”

Janis lifts a shoulder. “Eh. I can get art stuff for my birthday and Christmas.”

“Janis, it’s only the middle of March.”

“So?” Janis raises her eyebrows. “It’s true. And it’s fine. I wanted to do this for you.”

Gretchen leans back on her cushion, her appetite ebbing. She’s allowed Janis to buy before, but that was for miniscule stuff like popcorn or candy or five dollar scrunchies. She’s getting the feeling today is becoming about her, and that Janis won’t take no for an answer.

“Oh my God, please don’t cry,” Janis is begging. “Why are you crying?”

“Because you’re so nice to me,” Gretchen chokes, nibbling her cookie tearfully. “Regina made me pay every time we went somewhere, so I guess I still feel like it’s my responsibility. And—” She pauses, trying to word this correctly. “Y’know, my family’s fortunate, I can afford to pay for my own lunch without it being an issue. You’ve got a job and your dad gave you his money.”

“So?” Janis says softly, not exactly hurt but not understanding, either. “We’re fine. We can do stuff like that, too. Please let me take care of you without you feeling bad about it. This is what money is for, to have fun with. Right?”

Gretchen nods reluctantly, throat tight, but not from the sweetness of her cookie. “Yeah,” she agrees softly, wishing Regina still wasn’t comfortable in her head.

“So don’t worry,” Janis reassures, reaching across the table to tip Gretchen’s chin up. “I want today to be fun. And I wanna buy you stuff. Because you’re the best, and you deserve it.”

Gretchen smiles, unable to believe the compliment but accepting it regardless. “You’re sweet. I’m not, but thank you. I appreciate it.”

Janis pats her cheek. “I love you. Okay?”

“Okay,” Gretchen hums, softened by those words. “I love you, too.”

Guilt still pangs at her heart, but it’s overpowered by the tenderness she has for Janis and how thankful she is for her generosity. Maybe today can be day one of accepting she deserves things.

That’s what love is, too—allowing yourself to be occasionally pampered by your girlfriend.

They grab their favorite drinks at Starbucks after, then Janis insists on Gretchen leading the way. Sipping her iced coffee, she follows Gretchen into American Eagle first, and their free hands stay linked as they peruse the new spring options. Gretchen musters the confidence to try on a few things, and naturally Janis approves of all of it.

“I like your cute butt,” Janis compliments when she tugs on a pair of skinny jeans, and smiles her stupid smile when Gretchen blushes yet again.

She doesn’t argue this time when they’re checking out and Janis hands over her card.

Janis carries the bag on her arm as they continue their spree, happy to go wherever. Gretchen swallows the anxiety prickling in her throat, hoping Janis’s balance won’t be below zero by the end of the day. She knows it’s the principle of the matter, letting Janis do something nice for her and make her feel special—which she does, truly, it’s the guilt of being prioritized she wrestles with.

But it’s okay. Everything is fine. She’s worth it. That’s the whole point.

“Where else, princess?” Janis asks as they recycle their cups outside Ulta. Gretchen’s stomach flips at the pet name, her secret favorite.

“Can we do something you wanna do?” she suggests, figuring they’ve done enough for her.

“This _is_ what I wanna do,” Janis replies earnestly, tucking hair behind Gretchen’s ear.

That makes Gretchen feel soft, but she wants to be sure Janis is happy, too. “Yeah, but we can go look at vinyl’s or art supplies or whatever.”

“I did that yesterday with Damian,” Janis shrugs. “I mean it, this is great. I just wanna be with you.” She touches her chin again and gives her a kiss, and Gretchen sighs.

“Okay. Me, too,” she agrees, though she does believe her.

“Good. Though I suppose I could get my nails done,” Janis compromises, looking down at her chipping white polish, and Gretchen sighs in relief.

Sitting at the salon counter with the talented techs painting their nails, Gretchen feels better now that she knows this is definitely something Janis likes. She might not be allowed to pay for it, but at least she’s not doubting whether or not Janis is okay with it.

Of course she’s okay with all of it, Gretchen aggressively reminds herself, because why else would she be doing this? She’s in love and wants to show Gretchen she cares by taking her shopping, one of Gretchen’s favorite things.

But Gretchen is one of Janis’s, and today proves it. Love is shown however you can do it.

Afterwards, they find a nice spot near a fountain to sit and admire their new nails. They take advantage of the glowing sunset and their camera rolls fill up with pictures, both together and of each other. Janis is Gretchen’s second best hype man—for nobody does it quite like Karen—and says every single photo is Instagram worthy. Gretchen isn’t so sure about that, since her hair’s in her face for a lot of them, but appreciates the effort nonetheless. And she finds she isn’t paying attention to anyone else, not caring if people are watching. They’re in their own bubble. What others think is irrelevant.

“I’m so happy,” Gretchen muses aloud as they’re walking back to the parking garage, leaning her head on Janis’s shoulder.

“Me, too,” Janis hums, kissing her hair.

“No, like, I mean it,” Gretchen says, for she’s filled to the brim with contentment. “I’m happy with my life now. And I think—not to be cheesy, but that’s because of you.”

They stop walking and Janis gives her a soft look. “Aw. I’m glad. I like making you happy.”

“You do.” Gretchen kisses her. “Super happy. Not just today, but all the time.”

“You make me happy, too,” Janis murmurs, kissing her back. “I like when you’re honest. Your feelings matter to me. Always. You know that?”

Gretchen nods. “Yes. I love you.”

“I love _you_ ,” Janis echoes in that mushy voice she saves for Gretchen, and they keep walking.

Gretchen deserves kindness, and selflessness, and love. Regina gave her none of that, but the time wasted on her is being made up for with Janis, who’d give her the world and then some.

Gretchen calmly observes the bags at her feet once they’re in the truck, excited to show off her new outfits at school. Not that she needed Janis’s approval, but she’s glad she has it.

They go to Janis’s house, where they’re greeted by her rescued pitbull who trips over himself in his haste to say hello. He follows them down to the basement after they grab ice cream from the fridge—Janis always keeps a pint of Gretchen’s favorite flavor at her house—and sniffs around like he has never been in here before.

Gretchen makes Janis pick the movie, unsurprised when she puts on a horror flick. “I have anxiety,” she teases as Janis returns to the ratty but comfortable sofa.

“And I have arms meant for protecting girls with anxiety,” Janis retorts, making her laugh. “I’ll keep you safe from the scary man with the knife.”

“If that were real life, you’d be scared shitless, too,” Gretchen gripes playfully, scooting closer under the blanket.

“Yeah, but I’d still protect you,” Janis insists, and Gretchen kisses her cheek.

“My hero,” she sings, and now it’s Janis’s turn to blush, though truer words have never been spoken, and Gretchen believes in everything now more than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡
>
>> **find me:**   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/wantingmylove)   
>  [tumblr](https://cadyjanis.tumblr.com)


End file.
